Therapy: Becoming More Yourself, not Less
One of the things that can concern those starting a process like psychotherapy or counselling is that the process will force them to lose their sense of uniqueness and self,
Advice Fatigue: Sorting Good from Bad
Many people want to change aspects of themselves, and it’s natural that they seek help to do so. However, when you seek help from a number of different sources, the
From Responsibility for Your Actions to Ownership
The term ‘responsibility for your actions’ often seems to be equated with the word ‘blame’. When used this way, responsibility is an accusation of something that you haven’t done well or
Understand Me and I’ll Understand You
One of the things that people are seeking when they start the process of psychotherapy or counselling is to be understood. Often they feel that they are misunderstood by family
How Calm People Make us Infuriated
It is pretty common for couples to fight, with one person angry and upset and the other person trying to calm the situation down. Yet, doing this doesn’t actually make
Does The Talking Cure Actually Work?
A question I get asked quite often is ‘should I try to work this problem out for myself, or do I need some help?’. It’s a fair question, as there
How to Make a Fresh Start Stick
A couple of days ago whilst out on a walk, I overheard a woman talking to a man. They were on opposite sides of a car, talking across the roof;
Going Beyond the Isolated Mind
We all know what it is like to have strong feelings and the way that they can take us over. When these feelings are those of anger, pain or shame, they
Golf , Relationships and a Sense of Self
Watching the U.S. Masters golf on TV on Monday, I was struck by a couple of things. One of the most powerful was about a sense of self. Persisting without
Our Impossible Goal: The Myth of Independence
So many people have independence, particularly psychological independence, as their goal; it is seen as the logical and inevitable end-point for the maturation of an adult. However, this ideal –
Spoiling a Child: Arid Plenty and Indulged Deprivation
A question that often comes up for parents is the notion of spoiling a child. ‘How can I give my child all that I want to give them, to ease
Making a Deal with Your Partner? Why You Shouldn’t
In popular culture we sometimes told that couples should solve their problems through making a deal. I’ll agree to do this, if you agree to do that. It’s seen as
The Futility of Trying to be a Perfect Parent
The topic of ‘how do you best raise a child?’ is one that grabs the attention of new parents. They find different opinions about what to do and how to do it everywhere.
The Gift of Giving
In an article in the New York Times, Tara Parker-Pope has said that the giving of gifts “is a surprisingly complex and important part of human interaction, helping to define
Meet the Hollywood Therapists!
The ideas we have about therapy are formed from what we see in the movies and on television – but how true are they? Although many Australians (currently 5% of
Dealing with Difficult People: What Doesn’t Work
We all occasionally deal with difficult people – and when we do, we wish they’d change. What can we do? The response is never what we want It’s a familiar