Comments (9)

  1. Cait Wotherspoon 13.01.2017 at 13:03

    Good explanation Tim, very helpful. I love the steps from rumination to introspection, it makes life more pleasurable.

  2. timandpolly@gmail.com 13.01.2017 at 14:04

    Thanks Cait, I’m glad you found it helpful.

  3. Rohan 01.02.2017 at 23:25

    Nice article Tim. Very helpful. I am myself trying to beat the ruminating habit and turn into productive introspection and your article is very helpful

  4. Tim Hill 02.02.2017 at 06:56

    Hi Rohan, I’m glad you found it helpful for you. Ruminating can be a difficult thing to get on top of but I think the first step is to discover that you’re doing it, and the second step is to decide to address it. Clearly, you’ve passed those steps and are on the way to making changes. Good on you, and good luck!

  5. Sampat 16.05.2017 at 03:19

    Yes. What you said happens to me all the time. I ruminate quite often but at the same time I try to draw some conclusion from it. The problem is how not to think about the past?

  6. Tim Hill 16.05.2017 at 12:58

    Hi Sampat, I think there is asome value in trying to draw some conclusions, but I would perhaps try to move my attention to other things when you start ruminating. A good way to do this is to take a deep breath, let it out, then imagine that you are stepping out in a new mental direction. A really key thing is not not be critical with yourself about ruminating – this is a sure way to stay trapped with it. All the best!

  7. Anmol devgan 18.07.2017 at 07:48

    Hello sir today u make me soooooooooo relief , today I’m able to know what actually im doing by thinking my past Sir I want to tell u that in 2016 I was in depression nearly about 5-6 months because of may reasons but the main damage is done by my girlfriend Sir some times in night I cry a lot like 2 yr old kid actually main reason is she done already sex with someone and she just shows interest in some other boys even after 5 year relationship with me but I have too much regrets that I had wasted my time and money on her . Today I just want to change my past and most of time I think about my past I’m just very very very hurt from inside

  8. Jane 22.11.2017 at 05:14

    What about when you constantly keep on thinking about a time in the past that was amazing and you keep on wanting to go back there?

  9. Tim Hill 22.11.2017 at 08:54

    Hi Jane, thanks for your comment. Although wanting to return to an amazing time in the past is really natural, it can also be very uncomfortable and a source of sadness that you can’t return there, especially if some aspect of the memory has changed (such as you have lost a person in the memory, or you or your circumstances have changed).

    I think in these situations we need to find a way to still draw pleasure from the memory, even though circumstances have changed. We need to find a way to enjoy the amazing things that have happened to us and to savour the pleasures of our memory, without that pleasure being wiped out by the knowledge that the amazing times have ended. To help us do this, it can be useful to think of the memory as having two parts; the pleasurable part, and then the part that isn’t pleasurable (the loss that came after). This can help us focus on the part that is pleasurable, and replay that for that is worth. It can help if we remember that, even though the amazing times have ended, they were still amazing and there’s nothing wrong in staying with our pleasurable memories. I think this separating the memory into two parts is similar to what other people mean when they talk of ‘letting go’.

    I have talked a little mor about this process in another blog post (http://timhillpsychotherapy.com/too-many-regrets/)

    I hope you’re able to enjoy the amazing memories, Jane, without so much pain.

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