Comments (2)

  1. Allison Weinmann 27.08.2018 at 22:04

    This is cbt; cognitive behavioral thinking, right? Thinking you know what the other person is thinking. In a way its also tjinking the other person can read your mind as well, isn’t it? Because you assumed the other person had to know how important it was to you. However they might have had something else that, in their mind, unbeknownst to you, was more important. I’m guilty of jumping to all sorts of conclusions. And it has damaged my relationships -more than I can add up. I would be interested in hearing more on this subject about how to avoid this kind of thinking. Thank you.

  2. Tim Hill 29.08.2018 at 08:53

    Hi Allison,

    I think it’s something that all of us do from time to time – it’s just part of the package of being human. Lacking any better information, our first instinct is to see others as being similar to ourselves.

    I wonder if part of the solution is doing all we can to soothe ourselves in healthy ways, and to look after our own needs. Being more soothed has the potential to make us less affected by others around us and our perception of their ability to meet our needs, because we are meeting our needs ourselves. And perhaps another part is to slow things down and to do things more consciously. If we take the time to think our way into the other person’s shoes, perhaps we can understand them a little better, and get a better idea of the true motivations.

    Regards,

    Tim

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