Understanding your Psychological Growing Pains
When we start psychotherapy, we often do it to know more about ourselves. Even though in some ways we might know ourselves quite well, we are drawn to therapy is
Why Common Sense Often Doesn’t Work in Mental Health
When we face mental health difficulties in ourselves or another people, we can often get complex advice from professionals about how to treat the problem. That advice can feel too
Making Changes: Motivated by Fear
Many of us are trying to make changes in our lives. There are many approaches to making changes, and different ones work for different people. Consequently, any approach you take
Making Changes: Hope Is Not a Plan
Almost all of us want to change some aspect of our life. To do this, we generally need both a plan and a sense of optimism (or hope) that we
Getting Clear: Understanding the Different Types of Choices
We all face moments where we must choose between one thing and another. We need to choose things every day, but we don’t seem to know much about the different
You Don’t Need to Push Yourself to Breaking Point
Often people can feel like they are being pushed towards their breaking point. When circumstances become too much and they feel like they’re unable to cope, they feel that they’ll
Now’s the Time: Take Action to Sort Yourself Out
Many of us are familiar with the concept of delaying gratification. We save our money for a rainy day, we exercise to stay fit and we eat well to maintain
Listening to Your Critics: Is It Ever Worthwhile?
There is a lot to be said for those who stick to their guns in the face of the opinion of others. We tend to think of those sorts of
Stay at It When Things Are Going Well
Many of us are trying to change in some way or another. Perhaps we are trying to lose some weight, or become fitter, or to drink less. Many of us
Self-Criticism: Does it Really Lead to Self-Improvement
If you are like many people, you can be deeply self-critical. It seems like we are always nagging at ourselves about things we would like to change. Whether it’s your
Warmth: the Beating Heart of Good Psychotherapy
People often believe that counsellors will be impersonal and cold. They often imagine themselves talking to a counsellor who is friendly but a bit distant, and imagine therapy being deadly serious. That’s a
In Touch with Your Feelings? It Takes More Than That
Therapy can often be seen as a way of getting in touch with our feelings. In fact, when we talk about getting in touch with our feelings, it’s often therapy
Passive-Aggressive Behaviour: Why People Do It
One of the ways that people express themselves is through ‘passive-aggressive behaviour’. Put simply, when people express themselves in this way it seems on the surface to be accommodating or even
Your Freedom: What Will You Do With It?
All people seem to seek freedom. We desire to leave behind the constraints on our life and to be less bound by our circumstances, whether those limited finances, unsatisfying relationships
What We Don’t Say About Mental Health
Today I wanted to share some writing from a colleague who wishes to remain anonymous. I deeply respect this colleague; what she had to say concerning Mental Health Week last
Facing our Unfinished Business
Many of us have unfinished business, or things left over from the past. Often, these are things we should have done or said, or something that should have been done
Choose Between Psychotherapy and Other Treatments
Some clients ask me about the differences between psychiatrists, psychologists, psychotherapists and counsellors. It can be quite confusing, as the actual work with the client might be very similar. I’ve
How to Keep A Focus on the Future
One of the reservations that people have about starting counselling is that it will all be about their past. For many people who have had a difficult past, it’s not
Why Am I Always Thinking About The Past?
People tend to be quite different in the things they think about. Some people are always thinking about the future, and the good and bad things that might happen to
When the Truth Comes Roaring In
I mentioned in a previous blog posts some of the reasons people come to therapy. Many people want to sort out problems they have in their life, and other people
What Type of Person Are You?
Are you the type of person who is interested in knowing what type of person you are? If so, you aren’t alone. The idea that there are different sorts of
Feeling Good in Therapy? That Might be a Problem
People come to counselling because they feel bad and they want to feel better. Often, their life isn’t working well and they would like to make some radical changes. So
Understanding How Anger and Hatred Differ
We are all familiar with the emotion of anger. We have all experienced the tightening in our chest and jaw, the feeling of churning in our stomach. Most of us
Understanding Hope, Optimism and Positivity
Hope, optimism and positivity are all important ideas that have the ability to make our lives better. However, they are not equivalent concepts; it’s important to be clear about the