Jumping to the Wrong Conclusions
When we’ve known someone for a long time, we can think that we really know them well. Over the years, we’ve seen them in different ways and we feel like
Your Guide to How Trust Works
Trust is a very important issue for people. We are social animals, and we very much want to trust other people. However, we sometimes find this trust hard to give.
After Death: What We Know and What We Don’t
Death has mystified people since the beginning of recorded history. A great many cultures and religions have traditions about what happens to us after death. Many of these traditions include
Burning Your Bridges with People? Try This Instead
Sometimes when we’re in arguments with people and are feeling strong emotions like anger and frustration, we can say and do things that go too far. When this happens, the
Working Out our Strong Feelings Safelty
Sometimes we have strong feelings that trouble us, and we know we need to work through them. It would be a natural tendency to talk to people close to us
Parts of Us: Understanding Our Complexity
We are used to thinking of ourselves as having a single personality. We think: “This is who I am, this is what I believe, this is what I want”. This
Barriers to Communicating: Like Getting Blood from a Stone
We have all experienced people who don’t want to communicate. We might say that getting information from them is like trying to get blood from a stone. Interestingly, this expression reflects
Listening to Your Critics: Is It Ever Worthwhile?
There is a lot to be said for those who stick to their guns in the face of the opinion of others. We tend to think of those sorts of
Warmth: the Beating Heart of Good Psychotherapy
People often believe that counsellors will be impersonal and cold. They often imagine themselves talking to a counsellor who is friendly but a bit distant, and imagine therapy being deadly serious. That’s a
In Touch with Your Feelings? It Takes More Than That
Therapy can often be seen as a way of getting in touch with our feelings. In fact, when we talk about getting in touch with our feelings, it’s often therapy
Passive-Aggressive Behaviour: Why People Do It
One of the ways that people express themselves is through ‘passive-aggressive behaviour’. Put simply, when people express themselves in this way it seems on the surface to be accommodating or even
It Takes Time to Heal But Time Is Not a Healer
One of the enduring myths that we have about mental health is that if we leave it long enough, time will eventually wear down our problems and heal our wounds.
Can I Learn to Share and Be Happy?
Sharing is one of the earliest things that we learn from our parents. Why? Because it seems our natural impulse isn’t to share. Our parents teach us to share in
What We Don’t Say About Mental Health
Today I wanted to share some writing from a colleague who wishes to remain anonymous. I deeply respect this colleague; what she had to say concerning Mental Health Week last
Facing Our Difficulties with the Uncomfortable Truth
I mentioned in a previous blog posts some of the reasons people come to therapy. Many people want to sort out problems they have in their life, and other people
What Type of Person Are You?
Are you the type of person who is interested in knowing what type of person you are? If so, you aren’t alone. The idea that there are different sorts of
Understanding How Anger and Hatred Differ
We are all familiar with the emotion of anger. We have all experienced the tightening in our chest and jaw, the feeling of churning in our stomach. Most of us
Understanding Hope, Optimism and Positivity
Hope, optimism and positivity are all important ideas that have the ability to make our lives better. However, they are not equivalent concepts; it’s important to be clear about the
Nature and Nurture: What Rules Us?
It can be tempting for us to develop simple explanations about why people are the way they are; we really want to understand ourselves and other people. One long-standing debate in psychology
Recognising and Respecting Our Unacknowledged Losses
When we think of the words ‘loss’ and ‘grief’ we often think of the death of a loved one, and the acute and painful suffering that results. There is no
Overthinking It: Our Different Styles
Have you ever been told that you’re overthinking it? You might hear this from others; your partner, your friends or your colleagues. They might imply that thinking too much about
What Do You Need: Advice or Understanding??
When confronted with difficult situations, we often seek help from another person. That’s pretty natural; when we are in the midst of fear, uncertainty or doubt we feel the expert
What to Do to Feel Less Shame
Sometimes we are sure our faults are blindingly obvious to everyone. We have just done something we feel is a mistake and we are sure everyone has noticed; it seems
Talk it Through: The Other Way to Decide
People often have difficulty making major decisions. To help, they often consult other people to help them make those decisions. The person who sets out to help them often encourages