More Frightening than the Unknown
It is very common for people to have a fear of the unknown. We don’t know is ahead of us, and we can sometimes doubt our ability to handle it well. However, for many people, there is an even greater fear – the fear of something we do know.
Our scary futures
None of us know what is to come for us. Whilst there can be unexpected situations that work out well for us, the idea that there are also unexpected situations with unknown outcomes is inherently fearful for many. If they happen, we might be too challenged by these situations and find that we aren’t able to cope. Our sources of support might dry up, and we’d be left on our own.
The return of the feared thing
However, it might actually be that we fear even more greatly the recurrence of things we have already experienced. These are the things that have happened before and did not have a good outcome for us, and sometimes left us psychologically battered, bruised and perhaps traumatised. It makes sense that we would fear these things more because we do know what’s coming, and we know it’s not good. If what is happening is in part due to our own behaviour, we may have a dread of doing the same thing again.
Preparing for the unknown future by knowing the past
We can’t know what is ahead, so there are only limited things we can do to prepare for the future. However, we do know what’s behind us. This can sometimes make it a bit easier to try to prepare for these things happening again. If we have found that the recurring things that have happened are in part due to our own actions, a psychotherapist or counsellor may be able to help you make the changes you want to make in yourself.
– Tim Hill
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