The Slow Work of Making Progress

If you are seeking counselling or psychotherapy, you can sometimes have the idea that the therapist will be able to make dramatic changes to your life through brief observation and clever comments from their pool of infinite wisdom. You will walk away with a spring in your step and all will be different. The truth about making progress is quite different to this – but perhaps more inspiring.

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Go with who you are

The way that lasting change works is through gradually making deep changes that are in line with your personality, not having a therapist make quick interventions that are in spite of your personality. Superficial change like this can't last without your continued efforts to keep yourself on track. In contrast, deep change doesn't require you to try to be different – you are different.

No shortage of advice on making progress

Most of us don't lack wisdom. Even if you don't think you have this wisdom within you, you can be meaningfully inspired by a friend, a book or a movie. Further, you probably don't lack for advice either – there is no shortage of people willing to tell you what to do. It's likely you are constantly surrounded by people's opinions on what you should do, think, feel and be.

Sticking with you

What you might be short of is someone who is prepared to work with you through your problems, no matter how long it takes and no matter how hard it gets – someone who doesn't just have a quick and flip answer for you, but rather the time and the willingness to get in it with you and help you work it out. Someone who can bear your anger and pain without giving up on you or turning on you.

This is the work of therapy. It can be dogged work, but it can be immensely rewarding.

– Tim Hill

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