“These Crazy Feelings Are Making Me Crazy!”

We can sometimes have the sensation that our feelings are out of control – so out of control that we will be driven crazy by them. They seem to always be there, dangerous, unpredictable, destructive and unmanageable – and nothing seems to help. It can a very frightening feeling, but help is at hand.

Image credit: © Kasia Bialasiewicz - Bigstockphoto.com

It's not only you

Firstly, I want to reassure you that you aren’t the only person who feels this. Although it can feel that no-one else has ever felt anything so powerful or all-consuming, having powerful emotions is actually quite common. There will be times in most people’s lives when they have strong feelings; good times and bad times. These experiences are usually the exceptions in people’s lives – the times of loss but also love, of betrayal but also joy.

It's just for now

Secondly, for most people these intense feelings are just a temporary state and when the circumstances pass, the intensity of the feelings pass as well. It is part of the nature of feelings that they are situational. Feelings tie us to people and events, and although the feelings themselves may be lifelong, the intensity of them usually increases and decreases for reasons we can’t always predict.

You won't go crazy

Thirdly, although you may be concerned about what will happen to you from having such strong feelings, the ultimate effect on you will not be one of making you crazy. When the feelings pass – as they must – you won’t feel crazy anymore. It could also be partially your unfamiliarity with strong feelings – the more you have strong feelings, the more manageable they seem

Get some support

It can be tempting in the face of such strong feelings to wish to find some way to not have feelings anymore. It can seem that if we can banish them, our lives would be easier. Perhaps life would be easier, but it would also be lifeless; it isn’t possible to do away with one feeling without doing away with them all. A more realistic approach is to learn to regulate your feelings – to still experience them but without the fear that they will overwhelm you. This is part of the role of psychotherapy; to help you manage and regulate what you feel so you don’t feel overwhelmed.

– Tim Hill

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