Recognise and Deal with the Your Hidden Anxiety
We often experience events that distress us and challenge us. This can happen for all sorts of reasons; work, family, relationship and a seeming limitless number of other scenarios. We can react in all sorts of ways as well, with anger, sadness, regret – or even other responses. In dealing with these things, it can also help to remember that there may be a common element of hidden anxiety in many of these situations.
Finding the pattern
Because the circumstance can be so different, it can be hard to imagine that there is a common factor. The things that happen at work that stress you out are a lot different from the intimate fights that you have with your partner. It might not make sense that they would have any similarity.
This is why can be helpful to stand back and look at the things we experience to really understand them. We need to keep in mind that we are more complex than we know.
If we do that, then we might see that the things that we experience have hidden anxiety in them as well as the thing we first notice.
Let's take a situation where you get stressed out at work because of a deadline. Your boss a new case, you don't have enough time into feeling tired. It's entirely understandable that you'd be stressed in such a circumstance. However, it can also be hard to see that there may be an element of anxiousness about this as well. Perhaps you're anxious that you will be yelled at by your boss. Or, you might be anxious to lose your job.
Let's look at another scenario. You argue with your partner about money. They keep spending when you thought there was an agreement that would be saving money. You get angry with them because they're not following through on their agreement with you, because you keep coming back to his argument time and time again. Again, there may be an element of anxiety to this. You might be anxious that you find yourself somebody that you can't influence. Or, you might run out of money, or, you might feel that the relationship is coming to an end.
Finding the anxiety
If there is some anxiety in what you're experiencing, then that's a good thing. Why? Because if you can identify it is anxiety, then you can treat the anxiety. When you treat the anxiety, you lessen the impact of what you thought was the original problem.
Revisiting the problems
Let's take these two scenarios again. In a stressful situation with work, if you can address your anxiety about losing your job by reassuring yourself that you done a lot of good work or that you're valuable in the employment market, this can take away some of the hidden anxiety that you have about the work and leave you better able to handle the stress.
In the situation with your partner, if you can get clear about the future of your relationship and that this isn't about the relationship ending but rather just one problem, then with this hidden anxiety addressed, you can get down to handling the real problem.
Once you've clarified that there is an element of anxiety about the situation you're in, then if you handle the anxiety, you better able to handle the original situation.
Let me know what you think in the comments. Now, read about the power of negative thinking.
– Tim Hill