Therapy: Becoming More Yourself, not Less

One of the things that can concern those starting a process like psychotherapy or counselling is that the process will force them to lose their sense of uniqueness and self, and that they will become someone they don't recognise. Its indication of how important our sense of self is.

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Balance (whatever that is)

Some therapists talk in terms of their clients achieving some sort of ‘balance’ in their lives. What therapists actually mean when they say this is often unclear or undefined, but you could be concerned that in this rebalancing process you were you will lose something which is unique to yourself that you don't want to lose. You may even go so far as to be concerned as to think that the process tries to make everybody the same, and that psychotherapists or counsellors try to make clients conform to some ideal of what is healthy or appropriate or somehow more acceptable to the therapist.

Becoming more of yourself

However, the psychotherapist or counsellor that is guided by a principal of empathic engagement will not try to do this. For them, psychotherapy is a process of a client becoming more of themselves, not less, and that the psychotherapist will help you build your sense of self by becoming clearer about what your ambitions and ideals are, and to help you better attain them. Balance is not necessarily the goal; there are plenty of examples of people with fine mental health who are not in perfect balance at all. The goal of psychotherapy and counselling should always be the goal that you set; the therapist just helps you get there.

– Tim Hill

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