Being Connected: Winners and Losers
Last weekend saw two finals; of the AFL and the NRL, and these games, like countless other games and finals. illustrate some important things about us and the way we are as people that goes beyond football and rugby, and shines a light on who we are.
Winning brings us together
The first thing that it shows us is that when we win, we are immediately drawn to share this other people. When teams win, they flock to each other, and when our teams win, we flock to each other as well to share our good feelings. Our good feelings only seem amplified by sharing them with other people, and we lose ourselves in joy and celebration. It is similar when we announce births, celebrate marriages and unions, pass exams or experience any sort of joy; these feels come alive within us when we share them with others.
Losing separates us
In contrast, feelings of losing are ones of shame and despair, and shame and despair drive us from the company of other people whether they feel the same thing or not. We are isolated with our own thoughts and feelings, and it is hard to alleviate them because of what we do to isolate ourselves when we feel this way, which makes it only longer and harder for us to return to our normal way of feeling. As the common expression has it, we withdraw to lick our wounds.
Victories are shared, defeat is personal.
– Tim Hill
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