Book Review: The Porn Trap
Maltz, W. and K. (2008) ‘The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography’, Harper, New York
Rather than a book for practitioners, this is a book for people with a pornography problem and their partners, so the focus is on the practical and the easily digestible. The first part details what a pornography problem is and the power that it can have over someone’s life, with a focus on the effect that it can have on the pornography user’s capacity of intimacy and the consequent effect on their partnerships. The second part details the author’s approach for dealing with a pornography addiction.
Information that helps
The first part is quite informative and gives a lot of detail about how pornography problems start, how it builds and how it ultimately plays out. It has many vignettes in the words of the pornography users and their intimate partners, and so from this perspective there is a lot of insight to be had in to what it is like to be a pornography addict or in a relationship where this addiction is influential. In a breath of fresh air, a few of these perspectives are from women porn users. It’s preachy, but that’s what you’d expect.
The limits to the book
It’s the second part that really disappoints. Almost the entire approach is behavioural, with some brief nod to the idea that you might need a psychologist to explore some of the deeper issues; “a therapist can provide guidance and support in addressing underlying emotional wounds and unresolved issues from your past that have fuelled your porn use” (p.167). And that’s it. This isn’t to say that this approach won’t work on some level for some people, but an important part of their approach seems to be an encouragement for you to feel guilty or ashamed as a way of maintaining your abstinence. If their method doesn’t work it’s because you aren’t trying hard enough, it seems.
A real-world perspective
In working with clients, I have found that a psychodynamic approach is much more useful. Kohut addressed this in the first of his Chicago Institute Lectures in 1972. Although he is talking about (to our ears the awkwardly-named) perversions in general, it is clear that this includes pornography use. He says;
“… I have come to the conclusion that at least certain perverse symptom complexes, syndromes, can be explained … as sexualised versions of structural defects. In other words, the structural defect (a) explains the particular weakness vis-a-vis the urge and (b) less importantly, explains the intensity of the need … the intensity of the urge is accounted for neither by the structural defect alone nor by the pre-genital fixation and regression alone but by the convergence of both” (p.4)
From this perspective, pornography fulfils a self-object need and to put the focus of the treatment on the sex itself would be misplaced. However, in Maltz & Maltz, it is seemingly nothing but a sex problem and can only be resolved by total abstinence and the consequent denial of the need that the use of pornography is trying to address.
A preachy orientation
A review of the index will give you an idea of where they are coming from. There’s scant entries for ‘couselling’, and none for ‘psychology’ or ‘psychotherapy’, but that’s to be expected given the intended audience of the book. But there are 17 references to ‘religion’ another to ‘Bible’ and one more to ‘Promise Keepers’. In case you’re a little confused, there’s even a chart on page 182 that tells you what are and aren’t healthy sex attitudes. I’ve printed a copy out and taped it to my bedroom wall for guidance.
Chapter 11 ‘A New Approach to Sex’ gives the husband and wife author’s views on how you can go about establishing a sexual relationship based on shared intimacy, and also outlines some exercises to deepen this intimacy. Not quite my cup of tea, but it’s there if you want it.
Having said all that, it’s hard to criticise a book on theoretical and philosophical grounds when it has so many positive reviews – people seem to genuinely helped by it. On a pragmatic level, it seems to work.
Summary
A book that will give you some insight into what pornography addiction feels like to the person who has it, and to their partner, but only offers limited help to those seeking to help their clients. It’s biggest failing is the philosophy that underpins it.
I welcome your comments.
– Tim Hill
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