Comments (3)

  1. Nicole Hind 02.10.2017 at 19:27

    Very thought-provoking article Tim. I particularly this idea of focusing on the pleasurable part of your experience, and being able to feel some joy associated with that. Even when someone has passed on, I often find in my work that grieving folks are not encouraged so much to really talk about the ways they are living the legacy of the lost person. They therefore get stuck in grief, and interestingly often the way they get through it is to talk about the person in ways that make them stronger, remembering good times but more importantly what the person meant to them, and what they meant to the person… really deeply felt and lived parts of life and connection so as not to regret what they haven’t done, but instead to honour what they have, what they did, and what they are still doing. Thank you again for writing on this subject, I always find you offer some uniqueness to topics I haven’t reflected on.

  2. Tim Hill 03.10.2017 at 10:30

    Thanks Nicole. I agree, this is a good way for us to help with grief. Too much emphasis in the way we handle grief seems to be based on forgetting the person who has gone. I think this is often due to the discomfort of the person who has to deal with the grieving person, rather than the needs of the grieving person instead. We can gain an enormous amount of comfort from having the dead live within us in our memory and our words, and I see this as no way a bad thing.

  3. Sheena 23.01.2021 at 17:55

    Trying to understand why l go back after 20years and think of marriage breakup . I am in a good
    Place now and understand everything you are saying but still find hard to forgive myself and thoughts creep up in morning

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